Two tourists are driving through Wales.
When the reached Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogoch,
they stop for lunch and one of them says to the waitress,
'Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?'
'Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly.'
The girl leans forward and drawls, 'Burrrrrgurr Kiiiing.'
...........the road of life is never smooth........... When you are climbing the mountain of sucess, stop every now and then and enjoy the view........
Monday, September 20, 2010
golfer's will laugh....the rest will not be amused!
The police arrived and found a woman dead on her living room floor with a golf club next to her body.
An officer asked the husband, 'Is this your wife?
'Yes, he replied.
'Did you kill her?'
'Yes, he replied'.
'It looks like you struck her eight times with this 3-iron. Is that correct?'
'Yes,' the husband replied, 'but put me down for a five.'
An officer asked the husband, 'Is this your wife?
'Yes, he replied.
'Did you kill her?'
'Yes, he replied'.
'It looks like you struck her eight times with this 3-iron. Is that correct?'
'Yes,' the husband replied, 'but put me down for a five.'
Slow response can kill
One day Lion summoned all the other animals in the jungle.
"Each of you must tell a joke," he said. "But if anyone fails to laugh, I'll kill the person who told it. Monkey, you go first."
Monkey began "Two men go into a bar .etc etc . ." When he delivered the punchline, everyone roared with laughter, except Tortoise. So Lion pounced on Monkey and killed him.
Next up was Elephant. He told his joke and, again, everyone laughed except Tortoise. So Lion pounced on Elephant and kille him.
The animals were furious with Tortoise, but no-one dared to move.
Tiger began his joke, but when he was about one sentence in, Tortoise suddenly rolled over and began kicking his feet in the air, giggling his head off.
"What's wrong with you" roared an irate Lion. "Tiger isn't even finished with his gag yet!"
"I'm sorry," said Tortoise, gasping between laughs, "but Monkey's joke was simply too funny!"
"Each of you must tell a joke," he said. "But if anyone fails to laugh, I'll kill the person who told it. Monkey, you go first."
Monkey began "Two men go into a bar .etc etc . ." When he delivered the punchline, everyone roared with laughter, except Tortoise. So Lion pounced on Monkey and killed him.
Next up was Elephant. He told his joke and, again, everyone laughed except Tortoise. So Lion pounced on Elephant and kille him.
The animals were furious with Tortoise, but no-one dared to move.
Tiger began his joke, but when he was about one sentence in, Tortoise suddenly rolled over and began kicking his feet in the air, giggling his head off.
"What's wrong with you" roared an irate Lion. "Tiger isn't even finished with his gag yet!"
"I'm sorry," said Tortoise, gasping between laughs, "but Monkey's joke was simply too funny!"
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